Make a list of anyone I may have harmed and/or the subject of my loss and became willing to make amends to them all
There will come a time, when working with your Sponsor where you will realize that in the deepest time of Grieving and suffering, there may have been those you may have harmed. You may say, “Ridiculous! I was not in my right mind, I just lost…….” This is all true; I am sure that the harmed party fully understood that. However, hurt is hurt.
A couple of days after my daughter passed away, a fellow AA’er who had also lost a child, told me to keep a pad of paper and a pen with me at all times. When I asked why, he said that “there will be those people who will try to empathize and sympathize with you. They will want to express sorrow and feel your pain. They will tell you of an uncle, grandmother, or some other relative that nowhere near is the same as losing a child. You will both fill gratitude for them making the time but resentment for them trying to compare your loss with theirs’. Keep those names written down because when you are ready, you will want to make amends.”
In Step Eight, we are making a list with the willingness to make amends, or make things as right as they can be, with that other person, organization or other entity.