Why Use the 12 Steps
Using the steps is a powerful way to understand the full reason of why grieving can be so unbearable. We can become obsessed with loss, feel guilt if we feel we are not grieving enough for our loss. Frankly, like an alcoholic or other addict; we lose control of our grieving and can no longer manage our lives.
I found that using a my AA program, in addition to therapy, was the only way to fully understand my feelings. The anger, resentment, fears, guilt, remorse. I had to learn to forgive my loss and myself.
Grieving Anonymous is a program. I hope it can bring comfort to your life as it has mine.
What I discovered in my program:
There are two kinds of acceptance; physical and spiritual. We are taught that acceptance is the resolution that we will no longer see that person. True but spiritual acceptance is understanding that our loss can still be with us in memory, soul and heart. It is the comfort of knowing that the relationship with the loss is still intact, it has only changed in the manifestation of our love.
I needed a outlet to continue to express my love for my loss and tie up any "loose ends" that remained. Grief can be defined as the sense of no longer being able to express emotions towards our loss. Spiritual acceptance says I still can with service or a surrogate. Volunteering with an organization that our loss believed in. Being their voice for a cause. Planting a tree, flowers or some other plant and tending to it when we need to be close. (If cremation is involved, mixing some of the ashes into the soil when planting means they will live on within the plant. The Japanese do this with Bonsai plants)
I look forward to hearing your story, talking about your loss and allowing Grieving Anonymous to provide a "Grieving Mentor" to assist you.